Final Fantasy VI: Shadow of Death
by espritduo
Summary: Something I wrote a few years ago.  It's a short glimpse into Shadow's final thoughts as he stood atop Kefka's Tower, waiting for the end.


"Leave me Interceptor!"

"Baram, I'm coming! No more running this time..."

No more running. I've come a long way, Baram. Do you see me from where you're at? Have you forgiven me yet for running away? I don't think it even matters anymore. What matters is I've forgiven myself. I'm not afraid anymore. Of anything. I've come a long way, and now there's only one short step left for me to take. One more brief moment and I'll be free of all guilt, fear, and shame. My daughter, I am sorry you never knew your father, but you've grown up strong and beautiful despite my absence. You've shown yourself to be far braver than I ever was. Take care of her, Interceptor...

So this is it. I stand here at the end of all things, waiting for my absolution with a calmness I never felt in life. Death, you are a strange creature. I've spent my entire life side by side with you, and I've never known you better than I do now. I've never been less afraid of you than I am now. I've taken so many lives, carved a legacy of fear that will survive for generations, and all for what? For all the fear I've sewn, none was more fertile than my own. No matter how far I ran, you were always just a step behind me, weren't you? Waiting with an undying patience only Death could muster. Egging me on, whispering promises of redemption in my ear while I slept. If I could just bring enough fear into the world, perhaps my own would disappear. Perhaps...

...Perhaps not. Death, you cold-hearted bastard, you beautiful liar. You've fooled me for too long, but no more! No more running! I am here, and I will make you fear ME. I will stand tall, taller than this very tower of the damned, this monument to yourself. As surely as it will fall, so will your grasp on this world, and then on me. Don't you see? I've already won. I've learned what it means to live. I've learned of love, and of friendship. I thought I had killed my emotions long ago, but this past year has proven to me that there are some things that even you in all your might can't touch. I'm beyond your grasp now.

I look down at my feet and see this rotting ground giving way now. I look up and see my ray of hope flying away to safety. It's funny. That crazy gambler's ship is at this moment both the symbol of my salvation, and of my damnation. That ship is what brought me here to this point, this central moment of my own lifetime. But it is also an escape. I could still make it onto the Falcon right now, and continue the circle of ruin that has ruled my life. No one would know of this contemptible cowardice that has ruled my life but me - and you of course. I could lead a "changed" life with my newfound friends. It would be so easy, and I would be regaled as a hero for all time. It would be so easy...

But I would be living a lie. Not the same lie as before, but a lie nonetheless. No! There will be no more lies, no more running from the truth of what I am. My life and the choices I made in it have led me here, and here is where I must stand and face my judgment. For Baram, for my daughter, and for all those souls I condemned in my place, I will stand and be heard for all time. This is my moment, my time. My life has come full circle and my years of waiting for the wheel of life to turn are over. I see the other side now, as I fall alongside this disintegrating corpse borne from all the evils of mankind. Yes, I too helped to build this damnable tower in my own way, and as it falls, I will join it in oblivion.

There is nothing left now. I have conquered Death. It's bright, and I am not afraid. I see my wife, I see her eyes, and they are full of forgiveness. I see Baram, and his arms are reaching out for me. I see myself, I see those cold blue eyes in the night melting away into the light, no longer the death-worshipping haunted eyes I once wore. Now I see my face that I hid from the world for so long...

I am smiling.

I am home.


End file.
